Damn you, Marion Barber. While watching the Cowboys-Eagles game last night, every time you touched the ball I yelled, “Squash him!” You see, you were on my opponent’s team for Week 2. When I went to bed last night at half time, you were underperforming and my fantasy team was set to win. But you, Barber, went off in the second half and I lost this week. Also, it didn’t help that I had your Dallas team’s defense and they stunk. I’m now 0-2-0, thanks to you.
I should have known that there would be bad news in the morning from the nightmare I had in which I was running for higher ground in Rome during a major flood.
